by WOTNOPOLIS Short: How Bano broke WOTNOPOLIS
“We have the suspects in custody,” KKQ reported to Little Shiro as he walked in the room. “And we have people at the scene doing their best to stop, well, what had happened.”
Little Shiro nodded and pulled out his notepad. This was a big case. And there was only one detective with the skills to figure it out. “KKQ,” Little Shiro said as he walked toward the first cell. “Get me some hot tea, please. We’re in for a long night.”
Little Shiro had seen the looks before. The man was nervous. His palms were sweaty. The suspect’s eyes avoided his. Little Shiro could have been looking at the genius and mastermind of the whole operation right here.
“So Q, why don’t you tell us what happened?” Little Shiro asked.
Q looked around the cell and whispered. “Well, it started out like any other day..”
Q’s Interpretation
“I miss Q!” Yoyo said. “He was the only man that was ever good.”
“I miss him, too,” Bano whined. “I may make fun of him but I know in every way he is more magnificent than I.”
“And he’s so handsome,” Temari swooned.
“Wait, did this really happen?” Little Shiro asked.
“I can only imagine this is what goes on when I’m not there,” Q said. “Anyway, so I came back to the bar and…”
“Q! I’m so glad you’re back in the bar,” Yoyo said as she waved over to him.
“Q! You’re such a more awesome person than me, you were missed,” Bano agreed.
“It’s Q everyone! We can stop weeping!” Temari said as she blew her nose.
“Wait, is this really what happened?” Little Shiro interrupted.
“So Q, what’s the agenda?” Bano asked as he watched Q open the fresh cherry coke he’d bought from the store. “Wow, can I have some of that delicious cherry coke?”
“Cherry coke? Give me some!” Yoyo yelled.
“Not this time, guys,” Q said. “What’s with the legos?”
“Alright,” Yoyo said and waved her hand. “If you’re done hearing this crap, why don’t I tell you what’s really going on?”
Little Shiro turned to Yoyo and sighed. “So his story is a little off?”
“It’s exactly how I remember it,” Q said. “I know I’m under oath.”
“And that’s exactly the problem,” Yoyo spoke up. “And no, we’re not under oath?”
“We aren’t? You lied to me Shiro?” Q asked.
“I never said you were?” Little Shiro responded and raised an eyebrow at the man.
“Yes, you did. I remember it,” Q spoke up.
Little Shiro crossed Q’s testimony out with a pen and sighed. “Alright, miss, why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“It was an annoying story, like any other…”
Yoyo’s Interpretation
“And that’s why my lego tower will be the best, for I am a man and men do all things better,” Bano said.
Yoyo had had enough of his sexist ranting. Knssquad had been cowering in fear of Bano but Yoyo would put him in his place. “I challenge you and male society!” Yoyo said. “But we’re not making towers anymore. We’re making weapons. Whomever makes the best weapon and survives the duel wins!”
“Challenge accepted,” Bano said. “If we put money on it. For with my male wallet and male money I can afford to gamble on useless things like men did during roman coliseum days and you women were in the kitchen.”
“Fine,” Yoyo said. Knowing she’d use his money better than he would. She was hungry, after all.
“Wait, using legos as weapons? That’s kind of weird,” Knssquad said. Yoyo and Bano stared at her for a moment. “Point taken. Let’s do this!”
And so the battle to make the best legos began. “I have cherry coke! Who wants some?” Q yelled as he entered the bar.
“No one, be quiet,” Yoyo said.
“You left?” Bano asked. “I guess that’s why it was so peaceful.”
“Q, I need you to do the dishes,” Temari answered.
Q was smiling. But that idiot was always smiling. It was like he didn’t see the world for what it really was. A black abyss. A black abyss of hatred and sexism and glass ceilings and men forcing girls to stay in kitchens and making jokes about it. Q didn’t understand that the world was a dark place. Full of crime and evil. Not like she did.
“Q if you’re back please get that cherry coke away from us, it’s disgusting,” Bano growled.
“Tch, only a completely oblivious male like him could enjoy that stuff,” Yoyo said.
“What’s with the legos?” Q asked.
“We’re about to duel,” Yoyo answered.
“Want to place some money on the bet, Q? Come on buddy, you know I’m good for it,” Bano answered.
“You know Yoyo took my allowance forever ago,” Q sighed.
“Let him?” Bano asked. Yoyo sternly shook her head.
“And it’s time to d-d-d-duel!” Yoyo said as she stood up with her lego sword.
“Wait a second, when are we getting to the crime in question?” Little Shiro asked.
“They’re taking forever, I’ll tell you what happened,” Knssquad interrupted. “It goes like this…”
Knssquad’s Interpretation
“Blahblahblah cherry coke, blahblahblah,” Q said.
“No, Blahblahblah men are bad, blahblahblah,” Yoyo answered back.
“Blahblah, a blah, a blahty blah,” Bano answered.
“Where the heck are the words?” Little Shiro asked.
“Sorry, I tune out most of what they say because it’s about soda and sexism,” Knssquad said awkwardly. “But I remember the events clearly.”
Knssquad held up her Knssquad brand lego pistol and smiled. It was a great piece of worksmanship. She was proud. She smirked at Yoyo’s sword and Bano’s kama. So unoriginal, their pieces.
“Knssquad’s being a jerk,” Q whined.
“No interrupting you had your chance!” Yoyo said.
Little Shiro shook his head. “As did you.”
“Anyway, somewhere in the middle of the blahblahblah’s a giant portal opened up in the middle of the bar!”
Knssquad watched it. Around her the bar started to crumble. She shot her lego pistol at it.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not at all a very good story,” Clair said. “Let me try and explain it.”
Little Shiro sighed.
Clair’s Interpretation
Clair munched on the burger she had ordered. The kids were happily playing in a corner with legos and Q had just come inside with his soda. Clair smiled back to him and waved as he announced his presence.
“What are we doing, fellas?” Q asked.
“Getting ready for a lego battle,” Bano said.
“Why” Q asked. Clair thought it funny that Q would ask that. He usually just jumps into things. But as a sign of him maturing he asked why.
“That’s definitely not it,” Yoyo said.
“Sorry, Clair, that’s a bit too optimistic,” Knssquad shook her head.
“I liked it,” Q grumbled.
“Anyway,” Clair continued.
“Because apparently the author got lazy this chapter,” Bano laughed.
“What the heck did you say?” Yoyo said and thwacked him with her lego sword. “Idiot!”
Q punched the bar table in half. “How could you say that? We were 8 chapters away from the end of WOTNOPOLIS. But you just had to go and break the 4th wall.”
“Way to go, Bano!” Yoyo said. “Now no one will take this story of gangsters playing with legos seriously! How will we keep the audience’s attention for the next 8 chapters now that they know we’ve broken the 4th wall?”
“I, what, it?” Bano stuttered.
“You really went and screwed it up now,” Q shouted. “The 4th wall has completely been destroyed.”
“Q,” Clair said. “If you say the words 4th wall too many times in a story it’ll break the story time continuum.”
“Well you might as well say it over and over now! 4th wall! 4th wall! 4th wall!” Q shouted hysterically.
Everyone jumped away as a giant purple portal started inside the bar and the building started to collapse. “You really did it now, Q!” Bano shouted.
“Well it’s your fault,” Yoyo said.
“Good going!” Q glared.
“No,” Bano grumbled. “I was trying to sleep on this lovely prison bed. But no. You’re forgetting the most important part. Who fixed the 4th wall?”
“We all did?” Q asked.
“Well, yeah, but it was my idea,” Bano glared.
Bano’s Interpretation
Bano could tell lady luck was with him. Q had been gone for most of the day and to make things better he was in a contest that’d be a sure win. His legos were going to destroy all and he’d make a killing.
“Why?” Q asked about the legos. Geez, Q just always asked too many questions.
“Because the author was lazy this chapter,” Bano said. Everyone in the bar laughed.
“No we didn’t,” Yoyo said.
“Sure,” Bano said. “Anyway, everyone in the bar laughed…”
“Oh Bano, that’s a classic,” Yoyo said as she wiped away a tear.
“4th wall!” Q yelled in an attempt to be as funny. No one laughed.
Q continued yelling 4th wall until the time story continuum broke. While everyone else panicked Bano grabbed the legos and looked around. “Guys, the 4th wall is broken thanks to Q’s ignorance. But if we work together, we can definitely build a 5th wall made of legos and save the day!”
“And that’s what we did,” Bano said. “Why are we here?”
Little Shiro sighed. The breaking of a 4th wall was a serious crime here in WOTNOPOLIS, but it seemed to have been fixed. “Well, you’re clearly guilty, Bano,” Little Shiro said. “Of not only bad jokery but also 4th wall breaking. But we’ll let it slide. This once.”
Little Shiro signed the papers to let them go and smiled. He knew they’d learned their lessons. He grabbed the hot tea from KKQ. “So, did you figure out who was guilty?” KKQ asked.
Little Shiro smiled as he stared off. “They’re all guilty, KKQ. Of being bad friends.”
“Yeah, but that’s not a crime,” KKQ shook her head. “Whatever, thanks for doing the interrogation. While I, a police sergeant got you tea.”
She walked away and went back to her office. “Geez, WOTNOPOLISIANS don’t pay any attention to others.”
“We have the suspects in custody,” KKQ reported to Little Shiro as he walked in the room. “And we have people at the scene doing their best to stop, well, what had happened.”
Little Shiro nodded and pulled out his notepad. This was a big case. And there was only one detective with the skills to figure it out. “KKQ,” Little Shiro said as he walked toward the first cell. “Get me some hot tea, please. We’re in for a long night.”
Little Shiro had seen the looks before. The man was nervous. His palms were sweaty. The suspect’s eyes avoided his. Little Shiro could have been looking at the genius and mastermind of the whole operation right here.
“So Q, why don’t you tell us what happened?” Little Shiro asked.
Q looked around the cell and whispered. “Well, it started out like any other day..”
Q’s Interpretation
“I miss Q!” Yoyo said. “He was the only man that was ever good.”
“I miss him, too,” Bano whined. “I may make fun of him but I know in every way he is more magnificent than I.”
“And he’s so handsome,” Temari swooned.
“Wait, did this really happen?” Little Shiro asked.
“I can only imagine this is what goes on when I’m not there,” Q said. “Anyway, so I came back to the bar and…”
“Q! I’m so glad you’re back in the bar,” Yoyo said as she waved over to him.
“Q! You’re such a more awesome person than me, you were missed,” Bano agreed.
“It’s Q everyone! We can stop weeping!” Temari said as she blew her nose.
“Wait, is this really what happened?” Little Shiro interrupted.
“So Q, what’s the agenda?” Bano asked as he watched Q open the fresh cherry coke he’d bought from the store. “Wow, can I have some of that delicious cherry coke?”
“Cherry coke? Give me some!” Yoyo yelled.
“Not this time, guys,” Q said. “What’s with the legos?”
“Alright,” Yoyo said and waved her hand. “If you’re done hearing this crap, why don’t I tell you what’s really going on?”
Little Shiro turned to Yoyo and sighed. “So his story is a little off?”
“It’s exactly how I remember it,” Q said. “I know I’m under oath.”
“And that’s exactly the problem,” Yoyo spoke up. “And no, we’re not under oath?”
“We aren’t? You lied to me Shiro?” Q asked.
“I never said you were?” Little Shiro responded and raised an eyebrow at the man.
“Yes, you did. I remember it,” Q spoke up.
Little Shiro crossed Q’s testimony out with a pen and sighed. “Alright, miss, why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“It was an annoying story, like any other…”
Yoyo’s Interpretation
“And that’s why my lego tower will be the best, for I am a man and men do all things better,” Bano said.
Yoyo had had enough of his sexist ranting. Knssquad had been cowering in fear of Bano but Yoyo would put him in his place. “I challenge you and male society!” Yoyo said. “But we’re not making towers anymore. We’re making weapons. Whomever makes the best weapon and survives the duel wins!”
“Challenge accepted,” Bano said. “If we put money on it. For with my male wallet and male money I can afford to gamble on useless things like men did during roman coliseum days and you women were in the kitchen.”
“Fine,” Yoyo said. Knowing she’d use his money better than he would. She was hungry, after all.
“Wait, using legos as weapons? That’s kind of weird,” Knssquad said. Yoyo and Bano stared at her for a moment. “Point taken. Let’s do this!”
And so the battle to make the best legos began. “I have cherry coke! Who wants some?” Q yelled as he entered the bar.
“No one, be quiet,” Yoyo said.
“You left?” Bano asked. “I guess that’s why it was so peaceful.”
“Q, I need you to do the dishes,” Temari answered.
Q was smiling. But that idiot was always smiling. It was like he didn’t see the world for what it really was. A black abyss. A black abyss of hatred and sexism and glass ceilings and men forcing girls to stay in kitchens and making jokes about it. Q didn’t understand that the world was a dark place. Full of crime and evil. Not like she did.
“Q if you’re back please get that cherry coke away from us, it’s disgusting,” Bano growled.
“Tch, only a completely oblivious male like him could enjoy that stuff,” Yoyo said.
“What’s with the legos?” Q asked.
“We’re about to duel,” Yoyo answered.
“Want to place some money on the bet, Q? Come on buddy, you know I’m good for it,” Bano answered.
“You know Yoyo took my allowance forever ago,” Q sighed.
“Let him?” Bano asked. Yoyo sternly shook her head.
“And it’s time to d-d-d-duel!” Yoyo said as she stood up with her lego sword.
“Wait a second, when are we getting to the crime in question?” Little Shiro asked.
“They’re taking forever, I’ll tell you what happened,” Knssquad interrupted. “It goes like this…”
Knssquad’s Interpretation
“Blahblahblah cherry coke, blahblahblah,” Q said.
“No, Blahblahblah men are bad, blahblahblah,” Yoyo answered back.
“Blahblah, a blah, a blahty blah,” Bano answered.
“Where the heck are the words?” Little Shiro asked.
“Sorry, I tune out most of what they say because it’s about soda and sexism,” Knssquad said awkwardly. “But I remember the events clearly.”
Knssquad held up her Knssquad brand lego pistol and smiled. It was a great piece of worksmanship. She was proud. She smirked at Yoyo’s sword and Bano’s kama. So unoriginal, their pieces.
“Knssquad’s being a jerk,” Q whined.
“No interrupting you had your chance!” Yoyo said.
Little Shiro shook his head. “As did you.”
“Anyway, somewhere in the middle of the blahblahblah’s a giant portal opened up in the middle of the bar!”
Knssquad watched it. Around her the bar started to crumble. She shot her lego pistol at it.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not at all a very good story,” Clair said. “Let me try and explain it.”
Little Shiro sighed.
Clair’s Interpretation
Clair munched on the burger she had ordered. The kids were happily playing in a corner with legos and Q had just come inside with his soda. Clair smiled back to him and waved as he announced his presence.
“What are we doing, fellas?” Q asked.
“Getting ready for a lego battle,” Bano said.
“Why” Q asked. Clair thought it funny that Q would ask that. He usually just jumps into things. But as a sign of him maturing he asked why.
“That’s definitely not it,” Yoyo said.
“Sorry, Clair, that’s a bit too optimistic,” Knssquad shook her head.
“I liked it,” Q grumbled.
“Anyway,” Clair continued.
“Because apparently the author got lazy this chapter,” Bano laughed.
“What the heck did you say?” Yoyo said and thwacked him with her lego sword. “Idiot!”
Q punched the bar table in half. “How could you say that? We were 8 chapters away from the end of WOTNOPOLIS. But you just had to go and break the 4th wall.”
“Way to go, Bano!” Yoyo said. “Now no one will take this story of gangsters playing with legos seriously! How will we keep the audience’s attention for the next 8 chapters now that they know we’ve broken the 4th wall?”
“I, what, it?” Bano stuttered.
“You really went and screwed it up now,” Q shouted. “The 4th wall has completely been destroyed.”
“Q,” Clair said. “If you say the words 4th wall too many times in a story it’ll break the story time continuum.”
“Well you might as well say it over and over now! 4th wall! 4th wall! 4th wall!” Q shouted hysterically.
Everyone jumped away as a giant purple portal started inside the bar and the building started to collapse. “You really did it now, Q!” Bano shouted.
“Well it’s your fault,” Yoyo said.
“Good going!” Q glared.
“No,” Bano grumbled. “I was trying to sleep on this lovely prison bed. But no. You’re forgetting the most important part. Who fixed the 4th wall?”
“We all did?” Q asked.
“Well, yeah, but it was my idea,” Bano glared.
Bano’s Interpretation
Bano could tell lady luck was with him. Q had been gone for most of the day and to make things better he was in a contest that’d be a sure win. His legos were going to destroy all and he’d make a killing.
“Why?” Q asked about the legos. Geez, Q just always asked too many questions.
“Because the author was lazy this chapter,” Bano said. Everyone in the bar laughed.
“No we didn’t,” Yoyo said.
“Sure,” Bano said. “Anyway, everyone in the bar laughed…”
“Oh Bano, that’s a classic,” Yoyo said as she wiped away a tear.
“4th wall!” Q yelled in an attempt to be as funny. No one laughed.
Q continued yelling 4th wall until the time story continuum broke. While everyone else panicked Bano grabbed the legos and looked around. “Guys, the 4th wall is broken thanks to Q’s ignorance. But if we work together, we can definitely build a 5th wall made of legos and save the day!”
“And that’s what we did,” Bano said. “Why are we here?”
Little Shiro sighed. The breaking of a 4th wall was a serious crime here in WOTNOPOLIS, but it seemed to have been fixed. “Well, you’re clearly guilty, Bano,” Little Shiro said. “Of not only bad jokery but also 4th wall breaking. But we’ll let it slide. This once.”
Little Shiro signed the papers to let them go and smiled. He knew they’d learned their lessons. He grabbed the hot tea from KKQ. “So, did you figure out who was guilty?” KKQ asked.
Little Shiro smiled as he stared off. “They’re all guilty, KKQ. Of being bad friends.”
“Yeah, but that’s not a crime,” KKQ shook her head. “Whatever, thanks for doing the interrogation. While I, a police sergeant got you tea.”
She walked away and went back to her office. “Geez, WOTNOPOLISIANS don’t pay any attention to others.”
