by WOTNOPOLIS SHORT: Fantasy
Mikel woke up after a well deserved nap. He’d spent all day napping so he figured it’d be nice if he treated himself to some nap time. He hadn’t realized that during that time Jan had taken over. “Uh, Jan, what’cha doing?” Mikel asked his alter-ego.
“Mikel, you’re up!” Jan smiled innocently as she controlled his body. “Well, you were being all boring. So I decided to take over and do something fun.”
“Yeah, but what did you decide to do exactly? Did we destroy the city while I was asleep?” Mikel asked worriedly.
“No,” Jan said as she picked up a video game box. “Look at this game! They said the first month is free if we do a down payment of three hundred dollars.”
“That sounds like a super rip-off,” Mikel sighed. “You bought it, didn’t you?”
“It was a limited time only sale. The guy said it was because I was his millionth customer,” Jan nodded. She was proud of the bargain hunting she had done.
“Millionth customer? What was that, an internet ad?” Mikel asked.
“Mikel, it definitely wasn’t an internet ad. In fact, the guy at the store said he was the Prince of Nigeria so, this isn’t some silly internet ad,” Jan laughed. “I just was really lucky.”
“The heck you were!” Mikel snapped. “Oiy, so what’d you get?”
“World of WOTNOPOCRAFT,” Jan said.
“I don’t want to play. You know I only play the games where I can steal cars,” Mikel said. “Hm?”
“But Mikel!” Jan pointed to the cover. “It has a mermaid on it! Mermaid! Mermaid! I want to play with the mermaids. Please Mikel? Please?”
“Fine, we can play for five minutes, then you have to stop talking about mermaids,” Mikel grumbled.
“Yaaaay!” Jan cheered as she put the CD into the computer. A few screens popped by about accepting the terms to their souls and what-not.
“Oh, we have to fill out our character’s registration form while the game installs,” Jan said. “This is so official.”
“Just make whatever character you want,” Mikel shrugged. “I’m just gonna watch.”
“Fine by me!” Jan laughed.
She went through the normal steps of filling out a character profile.
Age: “I think she’ll be 20! Like me!”
Sex: “Girl. But…really, Mermaid! Yeah!”
Species: “I can’t be mermaid!?!!?!?! I’m dying Mikel, I’m dying…”
Height: “165 Cm sounds like a lot or something…”
“Yosh! Now to fill out my background information,” Jan cheered.
“Geez, those things don’t matter. Just put whatever down,” Mikel rolled his eyes.
Schooling: “Master ninja.”
What age did you question your belief in Santa Claus? Jan: What, Santa isn’t real? Since when!?
Mikel: What kind of question is that to put into your background character?
When did you learn to ride a bike? Did you ever race the neighborhood kids? What place did you come in?
Mikel: This seriously doesn’t seem important to the character…what the heck?
Social Security Number? Jan: 555-333-2525
Mikel: The heck? That’s my social security number!
Bank account password and username? Jan: Hmmmmm @ Tchtoomuchwork
Mikel: NO! I Said stop! Why are you giving them all my information!?
Garage door opener number? Blueprints to house? Phone number? ATM card Numbers? And any other financial information you can provide please insert below. This part is essential to your character and must be filled out ( * )
Mikel: This is definitely a scam here!
Now put in these letters as you see them to verify you’re not a robot sent to the internet to destroy mankind
“Yay! We finished the registration!” Jan cheered as the game loaded.
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure we just sold our lives into slavery to do it,” Mikel grumbled.
A small blue haired girl appeared on the screen. She looked around for a moment and saw that she was standing on a grassy hill. Not too far from her was a small village filled with wooden huts and a giant yellow Arrow was in the sky pointing towards it. “Yeah, I think I need to go that way,” Jan smiled as she started marching towards the city.
“What gave it away?” Mikel asked as they walked toward the city.
“Where there’s people there’s adventure,” Jan said.
“Wrong answer. Its supposed to be, ‘Giant Golden Arrow in the sky of obvious,’” Mikel corrected Jan.
As Jan approached the city she saw a person leaning against the city gates. The person had their hand out but looked to be asleep. A sign next to the character said, “Will work for Cherry Beverages.”
“Ah! A character!” Jan said as she ran up to him! She poked the sleeping man. “Hello, character!”
“Yeah, but something about this guy seems familiar,” Mikel said as he stared at him. “I can’t quite place it but I don’t like him.”
The man opened his eyes at the poking and smiled. “Hello! Have you come to help a person in need of cherry coke? Please, oh please?”
The man stood up from where he was seated. Jan’s eyes glued to his feet which she immediately recognized to be fins. She looked at his pants closer and realized it was indeed a green tail leading up to a shirt. She stared at his chest. A seaweed bra sat over his shirt.
“Uh, what is going on?” Mikel asked bluntly.
The man looked down and sighed as he threw the seaweed bra off. “Ugh, not again. I was cursed early in the game with this stupid seaweed bra. Every time I respawn it returns.”
“MERMAID!” Jan squealed and tackled the man to the ground. “You’re a mermaid! Mermaid! Mermaid! Mermaid!”
“Merman,” the merman corrected and grumbled. “Geez. I’m actually Cherry Coke Warrior, if you care to know. I once was a level 95 Ranger and was one of the strongest fighters in the game. Until I crossed paths with him. And he did that to me.”
“Eh? Cherry Coke Warrior?” Mikel asked as Jan continuously said mermaid. “And why’d you get so vague with the details?”
“You must be new?” CCW said. “Yeah, him. The Frickin’ Dragon, known as TFD. He and I ran into each other on a hunting party. I totally didn’t mean to cross his path but just for being in his presence he managed to hack my account and knock me down to a mermaid. My bank account, which was once filled with treasures from all over the world, got knocked down to zero. And my clan abandoned me because I had no fighting skill and, well, look at me. I’m a merman.”
“MERMAID!” Jan squealed some more in delight.
“You noobies should just give up on this game. Since TFD and TrollFilter joined the game its become impossible to get anywhere. They destroy anyone who starts to show promise,” CCW sighed. “Besides, we should really all be playing zombie games to prepare for the inevitable invasion.”
“I’m all for quitting,” Mikel said.
“Mermaids!” Jan smiled as she continued to poke CCW.
“But because of that I won’t be able to,” Mikel said.
CCW glared at Jan then smiled. “You know, if you’re such a big fan of Mermaids maybe you’ll like this, too.”
CCW walked down the path a ways and took them to a field with a fence. A small red haired man and a horse were standing in the field. “Look, see that,” CCW pointed, hopeful.
“UNICORN!” Jan screamed as she ran toward it.
“I’m a Weaponized Battle Horse and don’t you forget it,” the unicorn snapped. “Hey! Idiot writing this short. Don’t say unicorn! Its Weaponized Battle Horse!”
Jan ran toward the unicorn in glee. “Unicorn!”
CCW laughed evilly as he watched the girl run toward the white unicorn. “So, DrPepperDruid, do you still suck?”
“Tch, I could take you in a heartbeat, mermaid,” DPD laughed. “You should save such gestures for the dueling arena! Where men prove their valor.”
“I’m SamuraiDemon87,” the unicorn said to Jan as she hugged her. “Um, call me SD.”
“Call me DPD,” the red haired guy said to Jan. “Where’d you get the noobie, CCW?”
“Eh, just picked her up at the gates. She knows nothing at all about this place,” CCW shrugged.
“How come you’re a beautiful, pretty, awesome, fantastic, amazing, colorful unicorn?” Jan asked SD.
“Three things. Its Weaponized Battle Horse. And that was way too many adjectives. And I‘m only half Weaponized Battle Horse. The other half is invisible elf,” SD said proudly.
“Cool, let us see it,” Mikel said.
“Um, its invisible, duh. You can’t see it,” she laughed at him.
“Then how does it exist? Show us some proof or something of what an invisible elf is? Or half of one,” Mikel poked.
“You just, look, it exists and that’s all there is to it, so yeah,” SD growled.
“How did someone like you end up as an, um, mecha battle horse and part invisible elf?” Mikel asked.
“Its Weaponized Battle Horse!” Sd shouted. “Although Mecha Battle Horse doesn’t sound too bad. Anyway. I used to be a level 97 swordsman. Feared Queen of the Arena. I had clawed my way to the number one spot and held it for a year. I was also the hero of the Orc invasion. When the Militant Orcs invaded I stood them off and saved thousands of lives. I had two freedoming enchanted swords. Do you know how hard it is to get one? Let alone two!? But then The Frickin’ Dragon sent that one after me. The TrollFilter deemed me unworthy and reported me. The next thing I know I was sentenced to life as a unicor-I mean, Weaponized Battle Horse. He said since I liked speed and stabbing things this was the perfect reward.”
SD lowered her horse head and Jan decided that was a good time to pet the Unicorn.
“She bit me!” Jan screamed. “Ow!”
“So what happened to you?” Mikel turned to DPD. “I’m sure something bad happened to you since it happened to these two fellows.”
“No, I’ve done my best to stay clear of TFD and the TrollFilter,” DPD said. “Sadly, I’ve had to stay a low level and give up any good items I find to their thief guild. They take all the best items from anyone in the land and leave them in their bank. They basically control all of the land of WOTNOPOLISTICA.”
DPD then turned toward them and lowered his head. “On the outside I try to show normalness. But deep down I’ve got a true evil side to me. When I get upset, the Beserker inside of me comes out and I can’t be stopped. He’s so powerful. He destroyed a clan. They say he’s unstoppable.”
DPD grabbed the side of his head in anguish. “It hurts. I don’t know when it will return. Oh the horrors of having a monster inside of you that can come any second. Do you have any idea what kind of past I endured? What kind of pain this monster has done! It has consumed all my happiness. All because of my painful past. When everything I knew was obliterated. This monster saved me from the man who killed everyone, but in return it now haunts me everyday.”
“Sad,” Mikel nodded. “Isn’t there anything that can be done about TFD?”
“Ouch, he totally ignored DPD’s emotastic speech,” SD laughed.
“Haha, what do you mean?” CCW said. “Like, challenge TFD? You’re way out of your league to do that. If you do your character will be squashed.”
“I don’t really mind,” Mikel said.
“To take on TFD, you’d need to be a much higher level. Like, at least 250. To do that you’d need to take on a million quests, and before you ever got high enough you’d be taken out by TFD’s Thieves guild or the TrollFilter. Let it go,” DPD said.
“Again, I don’t really mind,” Mikel shrugged.
“Well, even though the kingdom is under attack by the forces of darkness, you should probably see the old man about helping him milk his cows,” CCW said.
“What old man?” Mikel asked.
“You know, the old man. That old man. There’s an old man. Always an old man in these kind of situations,” CCW explained. “And he always needs help with this or that. He’s misplaced the family heirloom. He needs a sponge bath. He needs his cows milked. That kind of thing.”
“What the heck is the middle one doing in a video game?” Mikel asked.
“It’s a very detailed game,” CCW continued.
“That just makes it worse!” Mikel snapped.
“Isn’t there a way to skip all that crap?” Jan asked.
“Haha, to do that would be cheating, young miss. And I know that players like yourselves are honorable players who would never think to cheat. To do that you’d just summon TitanicCheatCodes and with the right price she’d get you where you need to be. But again, that’s out of the question of young, integrity filled-”
“Yo, TitanicCheatCodes is it?” Mikel said as he looked at the young lady peering her head out of a house made of candy. “Hey, we need a bunch of cheat codes. We need to be, what was it, level 250? And we need weapons and crap. We’re gonna go kill TFD.”
“Ah, that’s exciting! Just step into my trustworthy store made out of Candy and we’ll see what we can do for you,” TitanicCheatCodes yelled to them.
“They did it!? I can’t believe they did it without even a tiny bit of hesitation!” DPD screamed.
“These guys, they’re different,” SD said. “Maybe they are the prophesied ones from the early days. The gamers who would change everything.”
“No way! They’re just cheaters who don’t give a crap about character backgrounds!” DPD wailed as they followed them into TCC’s Candy store. “Is it because in my past candy was thrown at me? I was forced to unleash the beast and kill an entire kindergartner classroom?”
“That’s not normal,” CCW shivered.
“Ah, what you got here is your class level 0 noob, mhm,” TCC said as she poked Mikel. “What you want is a golden knight effect, level 250, the powers of several hundred horses in each bicep. You want a smooth attack frame. Make sure its got all the safety features so you can’t be hacked. And a nice coat of armor on top. Yep. The works.”
“Sweet, make it happen, TCC,” Mikel answered.
“CANDY!” Jan screamed.
“She’s a lively one,” CCW said. Jan turned toward CCW. “Hey, you’re a mermaid!”
“Stop, we went over that forever ago,” CCW snapped.
“I can’t undo TFD’s effects on you two,” TCC said to CCW and SD. “But I can give you guys attack boosts that’ll help make up for your situations.”
“Eh, I guess that’ll do,” SD said.
“I’m really tired of being a mermaid, though,” CCW complained.
“You’re a mermaid!” Jan squealed.
“Hey, being a Weaponized Battle Horse isn’t exactly a picnic,” SD said. “Don’t complain.”
“Fiiine,” CCW sighed.
“Come out, TCC! We know you and a band of hooligans are up to illegal stat trade deals in there. Surrender nicely and we’ll only ban you all for a year!” a man yelled.
“Crap, it’s TeaNinja and JusticeWillAlwaysPrevailOverQ’sGang,” TCC said. CCW looked out the window and saw a giant sipping tea and a dark wizard holding a magic staff.
“Well, it’s not obvious at all who those guys are,” Mikel commented.
“Oiy, it’s them,” CCW snickered. “I’ve talked to them at the Taverns. They are so annoying. Let’s get out of here.”
“Pronto!” TCC said as she pulled a lever. “This will teleport us to another, safer area and help us escape a battle. Sadly, I’ll be leaving you there. Good luck on your quest, dear mortals! I know if TFD can be stopped you guys are the ones to do it!”
Swirls of colors went out in every direction. When Mikel and Jan could see properly again they realized they were laying on a dirt road. Next to them was the mermaid CCW and the Unicorn SD both already in a deep discussion about which was worse, being a mermaid or being a Weaponized Battle Horse. The Druid was leaning against the ground.
“The..the teleportation…is awaking memories…of my past!” he yelled as he grabbed the sides of his head.
“Seems we’re all okay,” CCW said.
“Actually, CCW, you’re shirt,” Mikel pointed. CCW quickly took off a Seaweed bra that had appeared and threw it on the ground.
“By the way, CCW, since you’re a mermaid, how is it you’re walking around on land and stuff?” Mikel asked.
“Hi! I am a healing fairy! Clairy Princess! Please take me with you and let me be used when you need healing. Call me Clair,” Clair the glowing green fairy smiled.
“Sure,” Jan said as she stuffed Clair into their pack.
“Yo, I see some other warriors ahead of us,” CCW said.
“Hello, ye!” a man said. “I am FateDeath! I am the Werewolf slayer. I have fought and battled over 100 werewolves and killed them all. And every time we fought I learned and memorized their skills and strategies. So now I have in my arsenal the fighting abilities of 100 dead werewolves!”
“Isn’t that just saying he has a 100 loser strategies?” SD asked.
“My mermaid plot hole question got totally ignored, didn’t it?” Mikel asked.
“I am MytseriousAsssassinator,” said a woman. “I am a summoner.”
“Oh, I wonder who this one is,” Mikel asked.
“And then I whip my summons and enemies into submission!” she smiled.
“Ah, definitely her,” Mikel said.
Jan nodded. “It’s got to be.”
“We heard about your up and coming quest to fight the TFD from Titanic! We wanted to join you. We know the way to TFD’s castle, but be warned. It’s beyond treacherous,” FateDeath said.
“We’re ready for it,” CCW exclaimed.
“Hey, you’re a mermaid!” Jan said.
“Cut that out!” CCW yelled.
“FateDeath and MysteriousAssasinator. I hope they aren’t the next victims of that side of me. That side that can’t be contained,” DPD said.
“So, here’s how it works,” MysteriousAssassinator said and the group huddled together. “First, we must make our way through the Forest of Ruins, into the Swamp of the Zombies. From there we go through the ancient city of Crunchyroll and deep into the heart of the Catacombs of Venomu. After we exit the catacombs we’ll be in the East. We’ll need to climb the mountainous passes until we reach the citadel of the oracle. He’ll open the secret path that leads us back into the desert of Shugo’s misdeeds. If we follow the winds with our spirits we should reach the forests of Temari. There, we’ll kill bears and put them on as disguises. We’ll then be accepted into the herd, where after several months we’ll be given an audience with the Penguin Elder. He’ll illuminate the path to the city that dwells under the pit of Endless Nothing. It is there we’ll meet the princes, but to prove we really are the noble bears of the woods we’ll have to properly dance the ancient bear dance. If we succeed in performing the dance they’ll accept us. From there we merely slip off to see the ancient graveyard, go through a tomb, take the secret entrance across the river Styx and through the underworld and bam, we’re at TFD’s Castle. Who is in?”
“Don’t forget me!” they heard a raspy voice say.
“Ah, the old man came,” CCW nodded. “Just as I told you he would.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
30,000 hours of intense and convoluted gaming later
“We’re here,” Jan whispered. “TFD’s Castle.”
“The Frickin’ Dragon. Haha, more like The Final Boss. Right guys? TFB?” MysteriousAssassinator asked. The group was quiet till CCW spoke up.
“Spell casters raise your wands! Make sure your Mana and Health potions are stacked, guys. Rangers, check your arrows. Warriors, dawn your heaviest armor of protection. And SD, do whatever it is horses do,” CCW ordered.
“That’s so not cool. After I saved you from dying in the desert you’re going to treat me like that, huh?” SD asked.
“Let it go already,” CCW griped.
“Here it comes, guys!” FateDeath yelled. The gates to TFD’s Castle slowly opened. A gush of wind nearly knocked them to the ground as the gates around the dark castle revealed the forces behind it.
SD kicked up on her back legs and kicked at the air. “Easy there,” CCW said.
SD kicked him across the face with a hoof. “Ow!” CCW yelled.
“By the way, CCW, you’re um, shirt,” Mikel said.
CCW threw the bra on the ground again and stomped on it. “Geez, every time.”
“Wow, you’re a mermaid!” Jan yelled.
“That joke is too old now!” CCW yelled.
“Who dares to challenge me?” a voice boomed from behind the gates. All of them cowered as they saw three figures. A tall man with two axes appeared on the left. A small girl with a giant magical staff in the middle. And a huge shadow with glowing red eyes. It could only be a dragon.
“This was a bad idea,” CCW cried.
“Keep your cool,” Mikel told CCW.
“I can feel my beserker blood getting warmer-”
“Not now, DPD! We already have almost been killed countless times because of your need to reiterate that stupid story!” SD hissed.
The girl laughed wickedly as she stepped forward from the shadows. “I am FoodTerrorist19, and I will not let allow you guys to defile these sacred grounds.”
CCW and DPD screamed and fell to their knees. “FoodTerrorist19? You betrayed us and joined TFD? But we were clan mates! We were partners! We had fought side by side! How could you do this?”
“Simple,” FoodTerrorist19 laughed wickedly. “Being evil is awesome! Necromancer spell book: Rise the skeletal army!”
CCW and DPD charged forward. DPD cast magical defense spells to counter the skeletons that were bursting forth from the ground. CCW leveled his bow and shot a volley of arrows towards FoodTerrorist19. She dodged each arrow and magical flashes zapped across the battlefield toward them.
“Seems the battle has begun!” TrollFilter yelled as he charged forward. His axes reflected the blood red moon that hung over TFD’s castle as he charged forward. “You’re mine, SamuraiDoofus the Unicorn!”
“It’s Weaponized Battle Horse!” SD screamed as she charged forward. Her crimson horn, stained with countless foes blood, aimed directly at her opponent. “And part invisible elf!”
TFD’s fire caught the rest of them by surprise as it scorched the Earth below them. FateDeath and MysteriousAssassinator retreated as the giant Dragon’s smashed into the ground in front of them.
Mikel leapt forward and swung his sword down on the dragon. TFD caught the sword with his head and pushed forward against it. “Foolish, mortal,” TFD roared. “Do you think a simple sword can cut a dragon?”
“No,” Mikel whispered. “I know a sword can’t do that. But a sword enchanted by the priestess of Seshimazi can burn!”
A wall of flame erupted from the sword and the Dragon whipped its head back. A cut formed across his head. He smiled. “Well, well, boy. You’re going to be pretty delicious!”
The dragon’s head snapped forward and Mikel was barely able to keep his grip on the sword as he pushed back against the attack. He felt a claw wrap around his body before he could react. “Shoot!” Mikel thought. “I lost my focus.”
His sword shot flames out but the claw around his body crushing him. TFD pulled Mikel face to face with himself. He stared into the Dragon’s eyes. “You were a funny little noob, at least,” TFD said as he opened his mouth.
A roar of fire erupted from TFD’s mouth. Mikel closed his eyes expecting the worst had come. When he opened them he saw the old man. His back turned to the dragon. It was obvious the attack had finished the old man. His eyes were closing. Blood dripped from the corners of his mouth. “Don’t give up, Mikel,” the old man said as he fell down.
“The old man looked way too cool just now!” FateDeath yelled as he leapt forward. TFD‘s head rocked back as FateDeath‘s punch smashed across his face. A furry werewolf stood before Mikel and gave him a thumbs up. At that moment a pack of tigers leapt toward the dragon. Mikel was dropped and rolled to the ground. He looked over at FateDeath the werewolf and MysteriousAssassinator, the summoner and smiled. “Thanks, guys. Let’s bring him down!”
“She’s too fast!” DPD coughed as he tried to keep his defensive spells up with the Necromancer’s summoning spells. “She’s spinning circles around me.”
“Well she’s not exactly going easy on me,” CCW said as he leapt past another green bolt of death. “It’s not easy leaping around when you’re a merman.”
“Then I vote we team up and do that attack,” DPD smiled.
“I agree. It’s probably our best shot,” CCW grinned back. He pointed his bow and lined it with arrows.
He launched the arrows. “Now, DPD!” CCW yelled. Skeletons dragged CCW to the ground. He hit them with his tail but he could tell it was all over for him as they dragged his body into the ground. DPD was suffering a similar fate as he shouted the spell.
FoodTerrorist19 was smashed against the wall of TFD’s castle as the spells attached to CCW’s arrows exploded into her. She stared at her mangled body. Her staff had been dissolved in their dual attack.
“I’ve lost,” FoodTerrorist19 sighed and signed off. “Cheats.”
“So, this is how our long rivalry ends?” TrollFilter coughed as blood spilled out of his mouth. His axes were wedged deep into SD’s front legs.
“Seems so,” SD whispered. Her head pressed against TrollFilter’s body as her Horn had sliced through his chest. She pulled her head back and stared at the man. A giant hole gaped in his chest. Both stubbornly stood there. Refusing to be the first to fall.
“You know what, SD?” TrollFilter said as he fell backward. “This game sucks anyway. It stopped being fun years ago, lol.”
Mikel looked back at his partners. The old man hadn’t moved since he stopped the fire earlier. FateDeath laid dead with his body slashed to pieces by TFD’s Claws. MysteriousAssassinator was wheezing out her last breath as she had been torched. “Go, Mikel!” she yelled before her eyelids closed. “And…Jan.”
“Together,” Mikel whispered as he ran forward gripping his sword.
“Together!” Jan yelled with him as they kicked off the ground. TFD’s mouth opened before them and they could sense the heat raising around them.
“We can win!” they shouted in unison as they brought their sword down. A wall of flames erupted on both sides.
As Mikel landed he immediately dropped to one knee. Half his body has been burnt away. He stared at the ground for a moment before smiling. “We did it,” Mikel whispered. He looked up. Across from him TFD’s lifeless dragon body rested.
“And it was thanks to our friends,” Mikel said as he stared at the body ridden battlefield. “That peace was brought back to the land of WOTNOPOLISTICA.”
“DPD,” Jan said.
“Yes?” DPD said quietly.
“I’m glad you were able to contain the beserker inside yourself,” Jan answered. “SD?”
“Yes?” SD asked.
“You’re more beautiful as a Unicorn. Accept your true self!” Jan called out.
“Screw that,” SD said. “I want to be the top duelist in the Duelist Arena, still.”
“CCW?” Jan asked as she pulled out Clair the healing Fairy and fed it to the old man so that he might live.
“Yes?” CCW said, regrettably. He had heard the last two farewells and didn’t have much faith in it.
“You’re a mermaid!” Jan yelled.
***********
“And then I was totally like, ‘Kyah!’ and I punched the dragon out. I’m an official Dragon hunter and slayer,” the man yelled to his tavern buddy as they drank cold beverages.
“Wow, I can’t believe you single-handedly defeated The Frickin’ Dragon! That’s simply unbelievable!” TeaNinja said as he patted FateDeath on the back. “You’re amazing!”
“Sure am,” FateDeath smiled. “Let me teach you how to live, TeaNinja.”
“Sure! I could use some tips from a real dragon slayer, haha,” TeaNinja smiled.
“I like you, TeaNinja. I have a feeling we’d get along really well in real life, too,” FateDeath nodded. “What do you say? Want to meet up and chat up strategies?”
“That sounds great! We’ll be the best of friends.”
************
“And 15 people were killed in that train wreck. Very sad. Yay,” Sg frowned into the camera. “In other news, the elusive criminal Destinykil, known for his work in the East and being in two different Mafias was surprisingly arrested today by Little Shiro.”
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to write, Jan! I had all those other WOTNOPOLIS's from the real story I had to write to get the plot moved a bit. Plus, I was just having issues figuring out how to bring this story together. But now that its finished I hope you enjoy it! She got this for the Easter Event as a prize.
Mikel woke up after a well deserved nap. He’d spent all day napping so he figured it’d be nice if he treated himself to some nap time. He hadn’t realized that during that time Jan had taken over. “Uh, Jan, what’cha doing?” Mikel asked his alter-ego.
“Mikel, you’re up!” Jan smiled innocently as she controlled his body. “Well, you were being all boring. So I decided to take over and do something fun.”
“Yeah, but what did you decide to do exactly? Did we destroy the city while I was asleep?” Mikel asked worriedly.
“No,” Jan said as she picked up a video game box. “Look at this game! They said the first month is free if we do a down payment of three hundred dollars.”
“That sounds like a super rip-off,” Mikel sighed. “You bought it, didn’t you?”
“It was a limited time only sale. The guy said it was because I was his millionth customer,” Jan nodded. She was proud of the bargain hunting she had done.
“Millionth customer? What was that, an internet ad?” Mikel asked.
“Mikel, it definitely wasn’t an internet ad. In fact, the guy at the store said he was the Prince of Nigeria so, this isn’t some silly internet ad,” Jan laughed. “I just was really lucky.”
“The heck you were!” Mikel snapped. “Oiy, so what’d you get?”
“World of WOTNOPOCRAFT,” Jan said.
“I don’t want to play. You know I only play the games where I can steal cars,” Mikel said. “Hm?”
“But Mikel!” Jan pointed to the cover. “It has a mermaid on it! Mermaid! Mermaid! I want to play with the mermaids. Please Mikel? Please?”
“Fine, we can play for five minutes, then you have to stop talking about mermaids,” Mikel grumbled.
“Yaaaay!” Jan cheered as she put the CD into the computer. A few screens popped by about accepting the terms to their souls and what-not.
“Oh, we have to fill out our character’s registration form while the game installs,” Jan said. “This is so official.”
“Just make whatever character you want,” Mikel shrugged. “I’m just gonna watch.”
“Fine by me!” Jan laughed.
She went through the normal steps of filling out a character profile.
Age: “I think she’ll be 20! Like me!”
Sex: “Girl. But…really, Mermaid! Yeah!”
Species: “I can’t be mermaid!?!!?!?! I’m dying Mikel, I’m dying…”
Height: “165 Cm sounds like a lot or something…”
“Yosh! Now to fill out my background information,” Jan cheered.
“Geez, those things don’t matter. Just put whatever down,” Mikel rolled his eyes.
Schooling: “Master ninja.”
What age did you question your belief in Santa Claus? Jan: What, Santa isn’t real? Since when!?
Mikel: What kind of question is that to put into your background character?
When did you learn to ride a bike? Did you ever race the neighborhood kids? What place did you come in?
Mikel: This seriously doesn’t seem important to the character…what the heck?
Social Security Number? Jan: 555-333-2525
Mikel: The heck? That’s my social security number!
Bank account password and username? Jan: Hmmmmm @ Tchtoomuchwork
Mikel: NO! I Said stop! Why are you giving them all my information!?
Garage door opener number? Blueprints to house? Phone number? ATM card Numbers? And any other financial information you can provide please insert below. This part is essential to your character and must be filled out ( * )
Mikel: This is definitely a scam here!
Now put in these letters as you see them to verify you’re not a robot sent to the internet to destroy mankind
=╝Γ颧▲≥⌠☻
Mikel: What the heck language is this in!? Ugh. This game is ticking me off already.“Yay! We finished the registration!” Jan cheered as the game loaded.
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure we just sold our lives into slavery to do it,” Mikel grumbled.
A small blue haired girl appeared on the screen. She looked around for a moment and saw that she was standing on a grassy hill. Not too far from her was a small village filled with wooden huts and a giant yellow Arrow was in the sky pointing towards it. “Yeah, I think I need to go that way,” Jan smiled as she started marching towards the city.
“What gave it away?” Mikel asked as they walked toward the city.
“Where there’s people there’s adventure,” Jan said.
“Wrong answer. Its supposed to be, ‘Giant Golden Arrow in the sky of obvious,’” Mikel corrected Jan.
As Jan approached the city she saw a person leaning against the city gates. The person had their hand out but looked to be asleep. A sign next to the character said, “Will work for Cherry Beverages.”
“Ah! A character!” Jan said as she ran up to him! She poked the sleeping man. “Hello, character!”
“Yeah, but something about this guy seems familiar,” Mikel said as he stared at him. “I can’t quite place it but I don’t like him.”
The man opened his eyes at the poking and smiled. “Hello! Have you come to help a person in need of cherry coke? Please, oh please?”
The man stood up from where he was seated. Jan’s eyes glued to his feet which she immediately recognized to be fins. She looked at his pants closer and realized it was indeed a green tail leading up to a shirt. She stared at his chest. A seaweed bra sat over his shirt.
“Uh, what is going on?” Mikel asked bluntly.
The man looked down and sighed as he threw the seaweed bra off. “Ugh, not again. I was cursed early in the game with this stupid seaweed bra. Every time I respawn it returns.”
“MERMAID!” Jan squealed and tackled the man to the ground. “You’re a mermaid! Mermaid! Mermaid! Mermaid!”
“Merman,” the merman corrected and grumbled. “Geez. I’m actually Cherry Coke Warrior, if you care to know. I once was a level 95 Ranger and was one of the strongest fighters in the game. Until I crossed paths with him. And he did that to me.”
“Eh? Cherry Coke Warrior?” Mikel asked as Jan continuously said mermaid. “And why’d you get so vague with the details?”
“You must be new?” CCW said. “Yeah, him. The Frickin’ Dragon, known as TFD. He and I ran into each other on a hunting party. I totally didn’t mean to cross his path but just for being in his presence he managed to hack my account and knock me down to a mermaid. My bank account, which was once filled with treasures from all over the world, got knocked down to zero. And my clan abandoned me because I had no fighting skill and, well, look at me. I’m a merman.”
“MERMAID!” Jan squealed some more in delight.
“You noobies should just give up on this game. Since TFD and TrollFilter joined the game its become impossible to get anywhere. They destroy anyone who starts to show promise,” CCW sighed. “Besides, we should really all be playing zombie games to prepare for the inevitable invasion.”
“I’m all for quitting,” Mikel said.
“Mermaids!” Jan smiled as she continued to poke CCW.
“But because of that I won’t be able to,” Mikel said.
CCW glared at Jan then smiled. “You know, if you’re such a big fan of Mermaids maybe you’ll like this, too.”
CCW walked down the path a ways and took them to a field with a fence. A small red haired man and a horse were standing in the field. “Look, see that,” CCW pointed, hopeful.
“UNICORN!” Jan screamed as she ran toward it.
“I’m a Weaponized Battle Horse and don’t you forget it,” the unicorn snapped. “Hey! Idiot writing this short. Don’t say unicorn! Its Weaponized Battle Horse!”
Jan ran toward the unicorn in glee. “Unicorn!”
CCW laughed evilly as he watched the girl run toward the white unicorn. “So, DrPepperDruid, do you still suck?”
“Tch, I could take you in a heartbeat, mermaid,” DPD laughed. “You should save such gestures for the dueling arena! Where men prove their valor.”
“I’m SamuraiDemon87,” the unicorn said to Jan as she hugged her. “Um, call me SD.”
“Call me DPD,” the red haired guy said to Jan. “Where’d you get the noobie, CCW?”
“Eh, just picked her up at the gates. She knows nothing at all about this place,” CCW shrugged.
“How come you’re a beautiful, pretty, awesome, fantastic, amazing, colorful unicorn?” Jan asked SD.
“Three things. Its Weaponized Battle Horse. And that was way too many adjectives. And I‘m only half Weaponized Battle Horse. The other half is invisible elf,” SD said proudly.
“Cool, let us see it,” Mikel said.
“Um, its invisible, duh. You can’t see it,” she laughed at him.
“Then how does it exist? Show us some proof or something of what an invisible elf is? Or half of one,” Mikel poked.
“You just, look, it exists and that’s all there is to it, so yeah,” SD growled.
“How did someone like you end up as an, um, mecha battle horse and part invisible elf?” Mikel asked.
“Its Weaponized Battle Horse!” Sd shouted. “Although Mecha Battle Horse doesn’t sound too bad. Anyway. I used to be a level 97 swordsman. Feared Queen of the Arena. I had clawed my way to the number one spot and held it for a year. I was also the hero of the Orc invasion. When the Militant Orcs invaded I stood them off and saved thousands of lives. I had two freedoming enchanted swords. Do you know how hard it is to get one? Let alone two!? But then The Frickin’ Dragon sent that one after me. The TrollFilter deemed me unworthy and reported me. The next thing I know I was sentenced to life as a unicor-I mean, Weaponized Battle Horse. He said since I liked speed and stabbing things this was the perfect reward.”
SD lowered her horse head and Jan decided that was a good time to pet the Unicorn.
“She bit me!” Jan screamed. “Ow!”
“So what happened to you?” Mikel turned to DPD. “I’m sure something bad happened to you since it happened to these two fellows.”
“No, I’ve done my best to stay clear of TFD and the TrollFilter,” DPD said. “Sadly, I’ve had to stay a low level and give up any good items I find to their thief guild. They take all the best items from anyone in the land and leave them in their bank. They basically control all of the land of WOTNOPOLISTICA.”
DPD then turned toward them and lowered his head. “On the outside I try to show normalness. But deep down I’ve got a true evil side to me. When I get upset, the Beserker inside of me comes out and I can’t be stopped. He’s so powerful. He destroyed a clan. They say he’s unstoppable.”
DPD grabbed the side of his head in anguish. “It hurts. I don’t know when it will return. Oh the horrors of having a monster inside of you that can come any second. Do you have any idea what kind of past I endured? What kind of pain this monster has done! It has consumed all my happiness. All because of my painful past. When everything I knew was obliterated. This monster saved me from the man who killed everyone, but in return it now haunts me everyday.”
“Sad,” Mikel nodded. “Isn’t there anything that can be done about TFD?”
“Ouch, he totally ignored DPD’s emotastic speech,” SD laughed.
“Haha, what do you mean?” CCW said. “Like, challenge TFD? You’re way out of your league to do that. If you do your character will be squashed.”
“I don’t really mind,” Mikel said.
“To take on TFD, you’d need to be a much higher level. Like, at least 250. To do that you’d need to take on a million quests, and before you ever got high enough you’d be taken out by TFD’s Thieves guild or the TrollFilter. Let it go,” DPD said.
“Again, I don’t really mind,” Mikel shrugged.
“Well, even though the kingdom is under attack by the forces of darkness, you should probably see the old man about helping him milk his cows,” CCW said.
“What old man?” Mikel asked.
“You know, the old man. That old man. There’s an old man. Always an old man in these kind of situations,” CCW explained. “And he always needs help with this or that. He’s misplaced the family heirloom. He needs a sponge bath. He needs his cows milked. That kind of thing.”
“What the heck is the middle one doing in a video game?” Mikel asked.
“It’s a very detailed game,” CCW continued.
“That just makes it worse!” Mikel snapped.
“Isn’t there a way to skip all that crap?” Jan asked.
“Haha, to do that would be cheating, young miss. And I know that players like yourselves are honorable players who would never think to cheat. To do that you’d just summon TitanicCheatCodes and with the right price she’d get you where you need to be. But again, that’s out of the question of young, integrity filled-”
“Yo, TitanicCheatCodes is it?” Mikel said as he looked at the young lady peering her head out of a house made of candy. “Hey, we need a bunch of cheat codes. We need to be, what was it, level 250? And we need weapons and crap. We’re gonna go kill TFD.”
“Ah, that’s exciting! Just step into my trustworthy store made out of Candy and we’ll see what we can do for you,” TitanicCheatCodes yelled to them.
“They did it!? I can’t believe they did it without even a tiny bit of hesitation!” DPD screamed.
“These guys, they’re different,” SD said. “Maybe they are the prophesied ones from the early days. The gamers who would change everything.”
“No way! They’re just cheaters who don’t give a crap about character backgrounds!” DPD wailed as they followed them into TCC’s Candy store. “Is it because in my past candy was thrown at me? I was forced to unleash the beast and kill an entire kindergartner classroom?”
“That’s not normal,” CCW shivered.
“Ah, what you got here is your class level 0 noob, mhm,” TCC said as she poked Mikel. “What you want is a golden knight effect, level 250, the powers of several hundred horses in each bicep. You want a smooth attack frame. Make sure its got all the safety features so you can’t be hacked. And a nice coat of armor on top. Yep. The works.”
“Sweet, make it happen, TCC,” Mikel answered.
“CANDY!” Jan screamed.
“She’s a lively one,” CCW said. Jan turned toward CCW. “Hey, you’re a mermaid!”
“Stop, we went over that forever ago,” CCW snapped.
“I can’t undo TFD’s effects on you two,” TCC said to CCW and SD. “But I can give you guys attack boosts that’ll help make up for your situations.”
“Eh, I guess that’ll do,” SD said.
“I’m really tired of being a mermaid, though,” CCW complained.
“You’re a mermaid!” Jan squealed.
“Hey, being a Weaponized Battle Horse isn’t exactly a picnic,” SD said. “Don’t complain.”
“Fiiine,” CCW sighed.
“Come out, TCC! We know you and a band of hooligans are up to illegal stat trade deals in there. Surrender nicely and we’ll only ban you all for a year!” a man yelled.
“Crap, it’s TeaNinja and JusticeWillAlwaysPrevailOverQ’sGang,” TCC said. CCW looked out the window and saw a giant sipping tea and a dark wizard holding a magic staff.
“Well, it’s not obvious at all who those guys are,” Mikel commented.
“Oiy, it’s them,” CCW snickered. “I’ve talked to them at the Taverns. They are so annoying. Let’s get out of here.”
“Pronto!” TCC said as she pulled a lever. “This will teleport us to another, safer area and help us escape a battle. Sadly, I’ll be leaving you there. Good luck on your quest, dear mortals! I know if TFD can be stopped you guys are the ones to do it!”
Swirls of colors went out in every direction. When Mikel and Jan could see properly again they realized they were laying on a dirt road. Next to them was the mermaid CCW and the Unicorn SD both already in a deep discussion about which was worse, being a mermaid or being a Weaponized Battle Horse. The Druid was leaning against the ground.
“The..the teleportation…is awaking memories…of my past!” he yelled as he grabbed the sides of his head.
“Seems we’re all okay,” CCW said.
“Actually, CCW, you’re shirt,” Mikel pointed. CCW quickly took off a Seaweed bra that had appeared and threw it on the ground.
“By the way, CCW, since you’re a mermaid, how is it you’re walking around on land and stuff?” Mikel asked.
“Hi! I am a healing fairy! Clairy Princess! Please take me with you and let me be used when you need healing. Call me Clair,” Clair the glowing green fairy smiled.
“Sure,” Jan said as she stuffed Clair into their pack.
“Yo, I see some other warriors ahead of us,” CCW said.
“Hello, ye!” a man said. “I am FateDeath! I am the Werewolf slayer. I have fought and battled over 100 werewolves and killed them all. And every time we fought I learned and memorized their skills and strategies. So now I have in my arsenal the fighting abilities of 100 dead werewolves!”
“Isn’t that just saying he has a 100 loser strategies?” SD asked.
“My mermaid plot hole question got totally ignored, didn’t it?” Mikel asked.
“I am MytseriousAsssassinator,” said a woman. “I am a summoner.”
“Oh, I wonder who this one is,” Mikel asked.
“And then I whip my summons and enemies into submission!” she smiled.
“Ah, definitely her,” Mikel said.
Jan nodded. “It’s got to be.”
“We heard about your up and coming quest to fight the TFD from Titanic! We wanted to join you. We know the way to TFD’s castle, but be warned. It’s beyond treacherous,” FateDeath said.
“We’re ready for it,” CCW exclaimed.
“Hey, you’re a mermaid!” Jan said.
“Cut that out!” CCW yelled.
“FateDeath and MysteriousAssasinator. I hope they aren’t the next victims of that side of me. That side that can’t be contained,” DPD said.
“So, here’s how it works,” MysteriousAssassinator said and the group huddled together. “First, we must make our way through the Forest of Ruins, into the Swamp of the Zombies. From there we go through the ancient city of Crunchyroll and deep into the heart of the Catacombs of Venomu. After we exit the catacombs we’ll be in the East. We’ll need to climb the mountainous passes until we reach the citadel of the oracle. He’ll open the secret path that leads us back into the desert of Shugo’s misdeeds. If we follow the winds with our spirits we should reach the forests of Temari. There, we’ll kill bears and put them on as disguises. We’ll then be accepted into the herd, where after several months we’ll be given an audience with the Penguin Elder. He’ll illuminate the path to the city that dwells under the pit of Endless Nothing. It is there we’ll meet the princes, but to prove we really are the noble bears of the woods we’ll have to properly dance the ancient bear dance. If we succeed in performing the dance they’ll accept us. From there we merely slip off to see the ancient graveyard, go through a tomb, take the secret entrance across the river Styx and through the underworld and bam, we’re at TFD’s Castle. Who is in?”
“Don’t forget me!” they heard a raspy voice say.
“Ah, the old man came,” CCW nodded. “Just as I told you he would.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
30,000 hours of intense and convoluted gaming later
“We’re here,” Jan whispered. “TFD’s Castle.”
“The Frickin’ Dragon. Haha, more like The Final Boss. Right guys? TFB?” MysteriousAssassinator asked. The group was quiet till CCW spoke up.
“Spell casters raise your wands! Make sure your Mana and Health potions are stacked, guys. Rangers, check your arrows. Warriors, dawn your heaviest armor of protection. And SD, do whatever it is horses do,” CCW ordered.
“That’s so not cool. After I saved you from dying in the desert you’re going to treat me like that, huh?” SD asked.
“Let it go already,” CCW griped.
“Here it comes, guys!” FateDeath yelled. The gates to TFD’s Castle slowly opened. A gush of wind nearly knocked them to the ground as the gates around the dark castle revealed the forces behind it.
SD kicked up on her back legs and kicked at the air. “Easy there,” CCW said.
SD kicked him across the face with a hoof. “Ow!” CCW yelled.
“By the way, CCW, you’re um, shirt,” Mikel said.
CCW threw the bra on the ground again and stomped on it. “Geez, every time.”
“Wow, you’re a mermaid!” Jan yelled.
“That joke is too old now!” CCW yelled.
“Who dares to challenge me?” a voice boomed from behind the gates. All of them cowered as they saw three figures. A tall man with two axes appeared on the left. A small girl with a giant magical staff in the middle. And a huge shadow with glowing red eyes. It could only be a dragon.
“This was a bad idea,” CCW cried.
“Keep your cool,” Mikel told CCW.
“I can feel my beserker blood getting warmer-”
“Not now, DPD! We already have almost been killed countless times because of your need to reiterate that stupid story!” SD hissed.
The girl laughed wickedly as she stepped forward from the shadows. “I am FoodTerrorist19, and I will not let allow you guys to defile these sacred grounds.”
CCW and DPD screamed and fell to their knees. “FoodTerrorist19? You betrayed us and joined TFD? But we were clan mates! We were partners! We had fought side by side! How could you do this?”
“Simple,” FoodTerrorist19 laughed wickedly. “Being evil is awesome! Necromancer spell book: Rise the skeletal army!”
CCW and DPD charged forward. DPD cast magical defense spells to counter the skeletons that were bursting forth from the ground. CCW leveled his bow and shot a volley of arrows towards FoodTerrorist19. She dodged each arrow and magical flashes zapped across the battlefield toward them.
“Seems the battle has begun!” TrollFilter yelled as he charged forward. His axes reflected the blood red moon that hung over TFD’s castle as he charged forward. “You’re mine, SamuraiDoofus the Unicorn!”
“It’s Weaponized Battle Horse!” SD screamed as she charged forward. Her crimson horn, stained with countless foes blood, aimed directly at her opponent. “And part invisible elf!”
TFD’s fire caught the rest of them by surprise as it scorched the Earth below them. FateDeath and MysteriousAssassinator retreated as the giant Dragon’s smashed into the ground in front of them.
Mikel leapt forward and swung his sword down on the dragon. TFD caught the sword with his head and pushed forward against it. “Foolish, mortal,” TFD roared. “Do you think a simple sword can cut a dragon?”
“No,” Mikel whispered. “I know a sword can’t do that. But a sword enchanted by the priestess of Seshimazi can burn!”
A wall of flame erupted from the sword and the Dragon whipped its head back. A cut formed across his head. He smiled. “Well, well, boy. You’re going to be pretty delicious!”
The dragon’s head snapped forward and Mikel was barely able to keep his grip on the sword as he pushed back against the attack. He felt a claw wrap around his body before he could react. “Shoot!” Mikel thought. “I lost my focus.”
His sword shot flames out but the claw around his body crushing him. TFD pulled Mikel face to face with himself. He stared into the Dragon’s eyes. “You were a funny little noob, at least,” TFD said as he opened his mouth.
A roar of fire erupted from TFD’s mouth. Mikel closed his eyes expecting the worst had come. When he opened them he saw the old man. His back turned to the dragon. It was obvious the attack had finished the old man. His eyes were closing. Blood dripped from the corners of his mouth. “Don’t give up, Mikel,” the old man said as he fell down.
“The old man looked way too cool just now!” FateDeath yelled as he leapt forward. TFD‘s head rocked back as FateDeath‘s punch smashed across his face. A furry werewolf stood before Mikel and gave him a thumbs up. At that moment a pack of tigers leapt toward the dragon. Mikel was dropped and rolled to the ground. He looked over at FateDeath the werewolf and MysteriousAssassinator, the summoner and smiled. “Thanks, guys. Let’s bring him down!”
“She’s too fast!” DPD coughed as he tried to keep his defensive spells up with the Necromancer’s summoning spells. “She’s spinning circles around me.”
“Well she’s not exactly going easy on me,” CCW said as he leapt past another green bolt of death. “It’s not easy leaping around when you’re a merman.”
“Then I vote we team up and do that attack,” DPD smiled.
“I agree. It’s probably our best shot,” CCW grinned back. He pointed his bow and lined it with arrows.
He launched the arrows. “Now, DPD!” CCW yelled. Skeletons dragged CCW to the ground. He hit them with his tail but he could tell it was all over for him as they dragged his body into the ground. DPD was suffering a similar fate as he shouted the spell.
FoodTerrorist19 was smashed against the wall of TFD’s castle as the spells attached to CCW’s arrows exploded into her. She stared at her mangled body. Her staff had been dissolved in their dual attack.
“I’ve lost,” FoodTerrorist19 sighed and signed off. “Cheats.”
“So, this is how our long rivalry ends?” TrollFilter coughed as blood spilled out of his mouth. His axes were wedged deep into SD’s front legs.
“Seems so,” SD whispered. Her head pressed against TrollFilter’s body as her Horn had sliced through his chest. She pulled her head back and stared at the man. A giant hole gaped in his chest. Both stubbornly stood there. Refusing to be the first to fall.
“You know what, SD?” TrollFilter said as he fell backward. “This game sucks anyway. It stopped being fun years ago, lol.”
Mikel looked back at his partners. The old man hadn’t moved since he stopped the fire earlier. FateDeath laid dead with his body slashed to pieces by TFD’s Claws. MysteriousAssassinator was wheezing out her last breath as she had been torched. “Go, Mikel!” she yelled before her eyelids closed. “And…Jan.”
“Together,” Mikel whispered as he ran forward gripping his sword.
“Together!” Jan yelled with him as they kicked off the ground. TFD’s mouth opened before them and they could sense the heat raising around them.
“We can win!” they shouted in unison as they brought their sword down. A wall of flames erupted on both sides.
As Mikel landed he immediately dropped to one knee. Half his body has been burnt away. He stared at the ground for a moment before smiling. “We did it,” Mikel whispered. He looked up. Across from him TFD’s lifeless dragon body rested.
“And it was thanks to our friends,” Mikel said as he stared at the body ridden battlefield. “That peace was brought back to the land of WOTNOPOLISTICA.”
“DPD,” Jan said.
“Yes?” DPD said quietly.
“I’m glad you were able to contain the beserker inside yourself,” Jan answered. “SD?”
“Yes?” SD asked.
“You’re more beautiful as a Unicorn. Accept your true self!” Jan called out.
“Screw that,” SD said. “I want to be the top duelist in the Duelist Arena, still.”
“CCW?” Jan asked as she pulled out Clair the healing Fairy and fed it to the old man so that he might live.
“Yes?” CCW said, regrettably. He had heard the last two farewells and didn’t have much faith in it.
“You’re a mermaid!” Jan yelled.
***********
“And then I was totally like, ‘Kyah!’ and I punched the dragon out. I’m an official Dragon hunter and slayer,” the man yelled to his tavern buddy as they drank cold beverages.
“Wow, I can’t believe you single-handedly defeated The Frickin’ Dragon! That’s simply unbelievable!” TeaNinja said as he patted FateDeath on the back. “You’re amazing!”
“Sure am,” FateDeath smiled. “Let me teach you how to live, TeaNinja.”
“Sure! I could use some tips from a real dragon slayer, haha,” TeaNinja smiled.
“I like you, TeaNinja. I have a feeling we’d get along really well in real life, too,” FateDeath nodded. “What do you say? Want to meet up and chat up strategies?”
“That sounds great! We’ll be the best of friends.”
************
“And 15 people were killed in that train wreck. Very sad. Yay,” Sg frowned into the camera. “In other news, the elusive criminal Destinykil, known for his work in the East and being in two different Mafias was surprisingly arrested today by Little Shiro.”
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to write, Jan! I had all those other WOTNOPOLIS's from the real story I had to write to get the plot moved a bit. Plus, I was just having issues figuring out how to bring this story together. But now that its finished I hope you enjoy it! She got this for the Easter Event as a prize.
