by A WOTNOPOLIS SHORT
"So," Q said and nudged Bano. "That's our plan for taking over Rhode Island. That evil little state."
"Sounds great!" Knssquad cheered from the other side of the bar where she was sitting. "They'll rue the day they were ever an Island. But not really. Sorta."
"Oh, yes," Q smiled as he nudged Bano again.
"What?" Bano asked as he glared at Q. "Why do you keep nudging me?"
"Because, this is the part of the story where you tell me my plan to take over Rhode Island with a flying submarine is stupid. And then we prove you wrong. Its how the story works," Q said. "It sure is a terrific plan!"
"That's stupid," Bano said. Q's eyes brightened and Bano shook his head. "No, I mean the idea that I would tell you your plan is stupid. Not the plan."
"Darn," Q complained. "I'm running out of ways to say that my plan is good and give you an opportunity to attack it. And it is not stupid. Its your job as straight man. Now about my phenomenal plan."
"Straightman?" Bano asked. "That's not me."
"Yes, it is," Yoyo said from the back. "Its one of the few jobs men do that we need them for. Playing the straightman."
"No way," Bano said and looked around. His eyes grew wide in bewilderment as he saw the gang shaking their heads in approval. "I, Banouin-"
"Bano Star the third," Knssquad added.
"No, wait, that's not my name, Knssquad. You really need to quit saying it is. Anyway, I, Banouin, am not the straightman. If anything, I'm the comedic genius here," Bano shrugged and nodded his own approval.
"What part of you is comedic genius?" Yoyo asked.
"I'm, well I'm lazy!" Bano started.
"We're all lazy," Knssquad said. "Except Clair."
"I'm also sarcastic and mean to Q," Bano continued.
"We already use Yoyo for all that," Q said.
"It's true. Sarcastic and mean. Its kind of my niche," Yoyo agreed.
Bano's heart sunk lower. "But all those sexist jokes. Those were funny. Remember that time I said that thing about women being in the kitchen during the coliseum days?"
"Eh, those are sorta funny," Q said as he tilted his hand back and forth. "Besides, I am pretty sure you said that during one of Yoyo's flashbacks, so really, that was Yoyo's joke. That was really funny Yoyo."
The whole bar laughed and patted Yoyo on the back.
"And even more to the point, that was during a side story. Those don't count. Why would anyone even read the side stories. Seriously," Knssquad argued.
"But, the gambling thing?" Bano said.
"Sometimes," Q said. "But its funny because its out of character. Because your character is, what class?"
"Straightman!" Everyone yelled.
"It is not!" Bano growled.
"Maybe he's not. Maybe I am the straight man," Knssquad said and stood on top of a table.
"Nope, you're the crazy character that fights with food," Yoyo said. "I am sorta a straight man."
"No, you were. But now you're the crazy character that fights with a demon sword," Q said. "Now if I were the straight man."
"No."
"Nope."
"I'm sorry boss, but no way."
"Hahahaha, no, really," Bano sniffed. "The straight man is supposed to be smart."
"You jerks!" Q cried. "I could be a fantastic straightman. I'd make you all weep with my straightman heroics!"
"Straightmen aren't stupid," Bano said.
"Straightmen aren't cherry coke fetishers," Yoyo added.
"Straightmen don't scream about zombies all the time," Knssquad nodded.
"Straightmen don't make up stories about fighting a number," Clair said.
"I'm sorry boss, but no," Temari shook her head.
"I, you, eh," Q stuttered. "And that 5 thing really happened. Why doesn't anyone believe me?"
"I could be the straight man?" Clair raised her hand.
"Sorry, you're the ball of sunshine and overly happiness," Yoyo said. "Not straightmen qualities."
"Then I'll cheer you all up with a song," Clair started.
"And you're done," Yoyo shook her head. "Face it, Bano. You're the straightman. Now do your job and tell Q his plan is stupid already."
"I don't have to," Bano said.
"Yes you do," Q said. "It says so right in the script."
"We don't have a script," Bano snapped and threw the script on the ground.
"The script!" Q yelled and dived for it.
Bano rolled his eyes. "I'm not the straightman."
"Well neither am I!"
"I'm not the straightman either!"
****
Mikel threw the doors to the bar open. Over his shoulder was Cris. He was injured. To his surprise the bar was full. According to the script the bar was supposed to be empty for a random 5 K run.
"I said I'm not straight!"
"No, you're straight! I know you are. I, on the other hand, am not straight at all!"
"You are, too!"
"Maybe I'm the straight one?"
"You're not straight, Q! We went over that."
"Yeah! There's just no way Q is straight."
"And neither is Bano! Because I'm funny, darnit!"
Mikel closed the door behind him. His eyes were wide with shock. Inside he could still hear them yelling. "Awkward," Mikel said. "Very awkward."
Author's Note: I have no idea, either. Anyway, I wanted to do some writing, but I've been badly writer's blocked on chapter 26. I'll try to have it out by next Friday, guys. Sorry its taking so long. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this little short idea I had.
"So," Q said and nudged Bano. "That's our plan for taking over Rhode Island. That evil little state."
"Sounds great!" Knssquad cheered from the other side of the bar where she was sitting. "They'll rue the day they were ever an Island. But not really. Sorta."
"Oh, yes," Q smiled as he nudged Bano again.
"What?" Bano asked as he glared at Q. "Why do you keep nudging me?"
"Because, this is the part of the story where you tell me my plan to take over Rhode Island with a flying submarine is stupid. And then we prove you wrong. Its how the story works," Q said. "It sure is a terrific plan!"
"That's stupid," Bano said. Q's eyes brightened and Bano shook his head. "No, I mean the idea that I would tell you your plan is stupid. Not the plan."
"Darn," Q complained. "I'm running out of ways to say that my plan is good and give you an opportunity to attack it. And it is not stupid. Its your job as straight man. Now about my phenomenal plan."
"Straightman?" Bano asked. "That's not me."
"Yes, it is," Yoyo said from the back. "Its one of the few jobs men do that we need them for. Playing the straightman."
"No way," Bano said and looked around. His eyes grew wide in bewilderment as he saw the gang shaking their heads in approval. "I, Banouin-"
"Bano Star the third," Knssquad added.
"No, wait, that's not my name, Knssquad. You really need to quit saying it is. Anyway, I, Banouin, am not the straightman. If anything, I'm the comedic genius here," Bano shrugged and nodded his own approval.
"What part of you is comedic genius?" Yoyo asked.
"I'm, well I'm lazy!" Bano started.
"We're all lazy," Knssquad said. "Except Clair."
"I'm also sarcastic and mean to Q," Bano continued.
"We already use Yoyo for all that," Q said.
"It's true. Sarcastic and mean. Its kind of my niche," Yoyo agreed.
Bano's heart sunk lower. "But all those sexist jokes. Those were funny. Remember that time I said that thing about women being in the kitchen during the coliseum days?"
"Eh, those are sorta funny," Q said as he tilted his hand back and forth. "Besides, I am pretty sure you said that during one of Yoyo's flashbacks, so really, that was Yoyo's joke. That was really funny Yoyo."
The whole bar laughed and patted Yoyo on the back.
"And even more to the point, that was during a side story. Those don't count. Why would anyone even read the side stories. Seriously," Knssquad argued.
"But, the gambling thing?" Bano said.
"Sometimes," Q said. "But its funny because its out of character. Because your character is, what class?"
"Straightman!" Everyone yelled.
"It is not!" Bano growled.
"Maybe he's not. Maybe I am the straight man," Knssquad said and stood on top of a table.
"Nope, you're the crazy character that fights with food," Yoyo said. "I am sorta a straight man."
"No, you were. But now you're the crazy character that fights with a demon sword," Q said. "Now if I were the straight man."
"No."
"Nope."
"I'm sorry boss, but no way."
"Hahahaha, no, really," Bano sniffed. "The straight man is supposed to be smart."
"You jerks!" Q cried. "I could be a fantastic straightman. I'd make you all weep with my straightman heroics!"
"Straightmen aren't stupid," Bano said.
"Straightmen aren't cherry coke fetishers," Yoyo added.
"Straightmen don't scream about zombies all the time," Knssquad nodded.
"Straightmen don't make up stories about fighting a number," Clair said.
"I'm sorry boss, but no," Temari shook her head.
"I, you, eh," Q stuttered. "And that 5 thing really happened. Why doesn't anyone believe me?"
"I could be the straight man?" Clair raised her hand.
"Sorry, you're the ball of sunshine and overly happiness," Yoyo said. "Not straightmen qualities."
"Then I'll cheer you all up with a song," Clair started.
"And you're done," Yoyo shook her head. "Face it, Bano. You're the straightman. Now do your job and tell Q his plan is stupid already."
"I don't have to," Bano said.
"Yes you do," Q said. "It says so right in the script."
"We don't have a script," Bano snapped and threw the script on the ground.
"The script!" Q yelled and dived for it.
Bano rolled his eyes. "I'm not the straightman."
"Well neither am I!"
"I'm not the straightman either!"
****
Mikel threw the doors to the bar open. Over his shoulder was Cris. He was injured. To his surprise the bar was full. According to the script the bar was supposed to be empty for a random 5 K run.
"I said I'm not straight!"
"No, you're straight! I know you are. I, on the other hand, am not straight at all!"
"You are, too!"
"Maybe I'm the straight one?"
"You're not straight, Q! We went over that."
"Yeah! There's just no way Q is straight."
"And neither is Bano! Because I'm funny, darnit!"
Mikel closed the door behind him. His eyes were wide with shock. Inside he could still hear them yelling. "Awkward," Mikel said. "Very awkward."
Author's Note: I have no idea, either. Anyway, I wanted to do some writing, but I've been badly writer's blocked on chapter 26. I'll try to have it out by next Friday, guys. Sorry its taking so long. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this little short idea I had.
